The Golden Rule, which states “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” is a powerful statement and a good guideline for how to treat others in the world. But when it comes to creativity, its message is subtly limiting, for it asks us to focus on how we would like to be treated, then apply that treatment to others instead of empathizing with another, getting into their world, then treating them as they like to be treated. Do you see the difference?
It is quite normal for us to go through the world thinking that our deepest needs and wishes are the same as others. And on a very broad level, this is true. All of us in some way want to connect with the world and affect it in a meaningful way. But looking more closely, the way in which we want these things vary from person to person tremendously.
Some of us want to be in the spotlight and depend on the positive feedback of others for our sense of connection. Some of us prefer to be in the background, quietly orchestrating the whole thing. Some of us are motivated by moving towards future goals. Some of us are motivated by avoiding certain problems or challenges. Some of us like to spend a lot of time thinking about something and developing a plan. Some of us want to dive right in, fixing things and seizing new opportunities on the fly.
The point is when it comes time to manifest our insightful ideas, when it comes to giving form to our visions so that they can be shared with others, we must go out into the world, seeking resources, materials, guidance, and, more often than not, we must work with others who can help shape our projects. If we treat those people solely from our own point of view of desired behavior, we will remain on the surface of what that person has to offer. But if we let our guards down, drop our beliefs, and start to experience the world through the other person’s eyes, we establish a whole new level of rapport and intimacy, a rapport and intimacy that allows us 1) to really try on new perspectives of the world and 2) to open up a broader level of communication based on us “getting” the person and that person feeling “gotten.” This is true creative inter-relatedness and the basis of authentic collaboration.
The next time you come up with a brilliant creative idea, instead of shoving it down another’s throat, listen to what is going on for that person in the moment and in the broader context of their lives. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what it would be like to experience what they experience, to walk the way they walk, to gesture the way they gesture. Seek to understand and then, only then, seek to be understood.
Whether you are working with people or the creative life force itself, the lesson is the same: first open yourself up and listen to what gifts the world has to give you, then share a few of your own by sharing what is most important to you. From this place of mutual respect by infinite variety, every person we interact with can have a profoundly creative experience.